


Up

by stereobone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereobone/pseuds/stereobone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin likes to pick Levi up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up

Erwin is first and foremost a strategist, so when he and Levi find themselves fifty meters from their horses outside the walls with their gear mangled and useless, he strategizes. There are two seven-meter class Titans heading for them, each roughly able to cover five meters per stride. But they're still over a hundred meters away, and Erwin can easily cover two meters per stride. Levi, on the other hand, can probably only cover one, given his height. He'll never make it on foot to the horses in time. So Erwin commits to the most logical course of action that will bring them to safety.

He picks Levi up and starts running.

Levi makes a deep, bird-like noise, a squawk, really, and grabs onto Erwin's shoulders.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Erwin doesn't speak, he just runs. Battery acid pumps through his lungs and veins, the anxiety of knowing just how close they are to being eaten. Adrenaline makes him feel weightless. And maybe it's also the adrenaline that makes Levi feel surprisingly light in his arms. Erwin has over sixty pounds on him, but Levi is all lean muscle and precision, deathly nimble. Erwin supports him with one hand on his back, the other on his hips, and can't help but notice how thin he is in his arms. Insanely, Erwin wonders if he's been eating enough.

They're only ten meters from the horses now, and Levi has his legs wrapped around Erwin's waist for better grip. Hanji and Mike deploy from their horses and use the trees to take out the Titans once they get close enough, which finally puts them out of danger. Erwin lets Levi go and watches as he lands on his feet with a grace reserved only for cats before mounting his horse. The Titans fall with an echoing thud in the forest, and birds bloom from the trees, escape to the sky.

"Hanji! Mike!" Erwin says, signaling for them to circle back. "We need to reconvene with the wagons and get new gear."

"Right," Hanji says.

Levi looks downright appalled, possibly embarrassed, as they head for the rest of the squad.

"It was the most logical course of action," Erwin says.

"Whatever," says Levi.

Erwin's arms tingle with the memory of Levi's weight for the rest of the expedition.

\--

A week later, Levi falls ill. It's nothing serious, at least that's what he shouts at everyone when they try to come near him. Erwin can't ever remember seeing Levi sick before. It's odd to see. He doesn't look any different, just frowns deeper than usual, nose red and irritated. Literally every member of the Legion avoids him, either out of fear of catching it, fear of Levi's temper, or both.

He's seething that night in Erwin's office while they catch up on paperwork. Erwin pours him cup after cup of tea, hoping the warm brew will at least do something for him. It isn't until later in the night when the candle is almost burned to its wick that Erwin realizes that Levi has a fever. He moves to refill his tea, fingers brushing over the mug, and Levi's skin is burning. Erwin sets the teapot down.

"Levi," he says. "Lean forward."

Levi doesn't, but Erwin reaches out and feels his forehead with the back of his hand anyway. He's right. Levi is burning up.

"You're dismissed." Erwin snatches the papers out from under him. "Rest until your fever is gone."

"It's nothing serious—"

"That was an order."

Levi throws his pen down and makes a displeased sound.

"Fine," he says.

He stands quickly, and then stumbles, blinks heavily. Levi grabs the back of the chair to steady himself. He's dizzy with fever, and Erwin curses himself for not noticing the red in his cheeks earlier.

"I'm fine," Levi says, but he's still holding the chair for support and Erwin suddenly doesn't trust him to get back to his room by himself.

He stands and rounds the desk, sees Levi's shaking knuckles, and picks him up. He's as light as Erwin remembers him to be, even with all that muscle, and taut in his arms. Maybe it should feel strange to be holding Levi like this, but it doesn't, not at all. His head rests heavy against Erwin's shoulder and Levi doesn't struggle, probably because of the fever, but he still curses in Erwin's arms.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Be quiet," says Erwin.

He carries Levi over to the couch, nearly cradling him.

"I'm not a rag doll," Levi says.

"I know you aren't." Erwin bends to one knee and sets him on the couch. He starts pulling Levi's boots off. "Rest here. I'm calling for a doctor."

Levi's eyes are already shut, and each exhale has him shaking. Erwin sets his boots on the floor and then feels his forehead again, smoothing the hair back from his eyes. He thinks about the day they first met. He thinks about Levi's face in the mud, his eyes like a wolf's. Levi who held a blade to his neck and didn't press in.

"Rest," he says again, and Levi only nods.

\--

The first two times were necessary. The third, not so much. But Erwin can't help it. He's become oddly obsessed with the feeling of Levi in his arms, the way his body folds to his when he picks him up. And Levi _is_ small, though his height has never been something that Erwin has discredited him for. Levi is humanity's strongest for a reason. But it does make the temptation that much greater.

On one of their very, very rare days off, they end up drinking together at a pub. In their uniforms, they get more than a few dirty looks, but Erwin is content to ignore them once they get their first beers. This is a definite luxury. Erwin can't remember the last time he had a proper drink that wasn't a hurried gulp from one of Pixis' bottles. His eyes shut as the first sip of beer passes his lips, froth catching on his upper lip. Levi is already half-finished with his. They're sitting together in a booth at the back of the pub to attract less attention, alone and content.

Three hours later, they've both downed a fair number of beers and are slouching further into the booth. They haven't done much besides shit talk—well, Levi did most of it, Erwin just agreed or disagreed—but now the conversation has lulled, and Erwin feels pleasant all over.

"I'm tired," Levi says, after a long moment of silence. "I'm going home."

"Probably best that I do as well," Erwin says.

They pay for their beer and leave together into the night. The weather is pleasant and cool as they walk, breezy but mild. It's late enough that no one is really around, and that's when the urge hits Erwin. He looks at Levi next to him, the draw of his shoulders. He wants to pick him up. The street is empty anyway, so Erwin really doesn't see the harm. He turns and scoops Levi up, arm resting under his bottom. Levi does the squawk thing again.

"Erwin, what the shit—are you drunk?"

"Not at all," Erwin says, which may or may not be the truth. "Though I think you are."

"I'm _not_ ," Levi says. "Put me down."

"In a moment."

"Erwin, I can walk."

"I know," Erwin says.

He doesn't put Levi down. What's even more curious is the fact that Levi doesn't hit him, or curse him out, or even try to get out of his hold. He just grumbles and wraps his legs around Erwin's waist to avoid their legs tangling. Erwin walks down the street like that, listening to his solitary steps on the cobblestones.

"This is ridiculous," Levi says.

Erwin can't really disagree. But he doesn't put Levi down. There is something familiar about the weight of him, about the feel of him. It doesn't really occur to Erwin that he _should_ let go, not until Levi starts to actually squirm in his arms some blocks later.

"Erwin," he says. "Put me down."

It's the tone of his voice that gets Erwin to listen. There's nothing harsh or biting about it. Levi's voice is soft, almost far away sounding. Erwin sets him down. His gear and shirt are rucked up and Levi adjusts them quietly while Erwin looks out into the empty street. Maybe he is a bit drunk.

They walk the rest of the way together side-by-side, arms brushing, electric.

\--

"This is getting out of hand," Levi says, the next time.

Erwin's picked him up in the hallway. He didn't have a reason, not like the first two times, not even like the third time. He just wanted to pick Levi up. So he did.

"Is it?" Erwin says, and hums.

He doesn't mention that Levi's got an arm slung around his neck or how perfectly he fits in his arms bridal-style.

"Where are you headed?"

"To the kitchens." Levi glances quickly over his shoulder. "If someone sees this I'm going to murder you."

"It's lunchtime, everyone is eating."

Erwin sets him down at the stairs, not wanting to push their luck.

"Do you mind?" he asks.

Levi pauses like he hadn't actually considered his stance in all this, like he hadn't thought Erwin would ask.

"What kind of question is that," he says finally. "Of course I mind. You're carrying me around like a goddamn child."

Then he turns and takes the stairs two at a time, but not before Erwin catches the flush that's spread across his cheeks. Erwin watches him go with something stuck in his throat.

\--

After the 57th expedition, he and Levi sit alone for a long time in his office. Levi asked to write the death reports of his squad himself, and Erwin would not deny him that. They drink whiskey instead of tea, silent and sullen. Levi says nothing, though he's usually the more talkative one after an expedition. He rants until he's out of breath and then sits with arms and legs crossed until Erwin kicks him out. This evening he's quiet. Erwin can see the heaviness under his eyes, the long pull of his face. Once he finishes with the death reports, he seals them into envelopes and stands. His grip on them makes his knuckles white.

"Don't make this a heavier burden than it has to be," Erwin says.

Levi says nothing.

"Their deaths were not pointless, Levi. They gave their lives for what they believe in."

"Don't do that," Levi says. "Don't do that whole 'greater good' bullshit. Not to me."

The envelopes have started to crumple in his hand so Erwin stands and takes them from him. Levi resists at first, but after another gentle tug, he lets go. It's strange how his grief makes Erwin feel guilty. How it makes him regret.

"Levi—"

"Stop talking," Levi says. "Just stop talking and pick me up."

Erwin almost asks him to repeat himself, but he knows better. He hasn't picked Levi up since that time in the hallway, though he isn't sure why. He'd thought about it, and when they were alone together, Levi watched him like he was waiting for him to, like he was expecting it. Erwin just never did. Maybe he was waiting for this, waiting for Levi to ask. He sets the envelopes on the desk.

This time, Levi is already reaching up to meet him, arms winding around his neck, legs fitting around his waist. Levi's cheek fits against the side of Erwin's neck perfectly, and they stay like that. Levi says nothing else, and neither does Erwin. He just holds him. After ten minutes, Erwin's arms start to go numb, but he doesn't put Levi down. He doesn't move until Levi asks him to, and by then, Erwin isn't sure how much time has passed. Maybe an eternity.

\--

He picks Levi up a lot after that. He experiments with different positions, but he favors the one that has Levi's face closest to his, the one that has Levi wrapping his arms around Erwin's neck and settling against the nape. Erwin can do it as long as there's no one around, that's the silent agreement. They don't talk about the time in his office after the 57th expedition, and Levi still makes that squawk noise sometimes when Erwin collects him into his arms.

"A goddamn inconvenience," he says.

But he never asks to be put down.

\--

Then Erwin loses his arm. It's weeks before the bleeding fully stops and he can start to move around with minimal pain. The sleeves of his shirts and coats sit empty against his side like a ghost. He'll have to ask Levi to pin them. Levi has been helping him with a lot of things, though Erwin remains mostly self-sufficient. Levi is angrier about the situation than he is. Erwin doesn't mind it much, not after all he's done, but he stills hates the moment upon waking when he thinks his arm is still there.

Levi helps Erwin that night like usual, folds his jacket and takes off his boots, all things that Erwin never asked him to. He just does them.

"Why do you look so damn sullen?" Levi says.

Erwin didn't even realize he was. He watches Levi hang his jacket up, shadowy in the candlelight, and considers lying, but there's not point in lying to Levi. Erwin doesn't want to lie to him.

"I suppose I am a bit sullen. I can't fight. I can't lead my men into battle." He holds Levi's gaze. "I can't even pick you up."

Levi stands strangely quiet, probably because he was expecting a lie, so Erwin smiles to appease him.

"That will be all, thank you, Levi," he says.

He likes to undo his dress shirt and pants on his own—he's gotten better at it—but he also doesn't want Levi to see the empty space where his arm used to be, though he knows he would never pity him. Others watch him with pity, but not Levi. Never him. But Erwin still feels like he's said too much. Levi has always been his most powerful weapon, and he's always been much more than that.

"Erwin."

He turns and Levi is suddenly much closer. He jumps on him, both arms wrapping around his neck. Erwin barely catches him with his left arm, but he does catch him, and it's automatic. Levi's heels come together behind his back. They stumble a bit, but remain upright, solid and close.

"Look at that," Levi says. "You can still pick me up."

Levi's weight is familiar in his arm, comforting. Erwin is straining a bit, but Levi has taken some of the weight, and it actually isn't as impossible as he thought it would be. Erwin takes a few steps backwards and sits on his bed. Levi shifts some in his lap, but otherwise doesn't move. Slowly, Erwin rests his chin on the crook of Levi's shoulder, supporting him still with his left arm.

"Look at that," he says.

Erwin moves so his lips can brush against Levi's neck, his jaw. He presses a kiss to the corner of Levi's mouth and then that same mouth moves to meet his own.

The night is quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that this was supposed to be pure and utter crack and then suddenly??? That is not what happened. So. Anyway. Wrote this for [Mar](http://oldmenyaoi.tumblr.com/) because she's cute and likes cute things. More tender old men yaoi. No one is surprised, I know. I have a problem.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated <3


End file.
